I am showing my age with this blog title! Who remembers this track from Urban Cookie Collective? I do have the key and the secret though, the answer to everything that is holding you back.
Self worth.
You have read my blog posts about ways to grow your business, or ways to manage your mindset. You read posts every day with hints and tricks for feeling less stressed, getting more out of life, being more productive and reaching your goals. You definitely have goals, you are an ambitious person, there are things you want to achieve.
Why then is it so hard to put into action the bits of advice that you read which really resonate?
The answer lies in self worth.
Do you really, truly, deep down believe that you are worth your own time, care and investment?
If you do not, why is that? What deep-rooted crap (we all have plenty of that) do you need to dig out and drag into the light? Or is it a more immediate problem? Is there someone, or more than one person, in your life who is making it impossible for you to feel as though you have worth?
This is big stuff, no question. Finding and bolstering your self worth is the work of therapy, coaching, mentoring, inner work or all of the above. I would love to work with you 1-2-1 to help you to overcome any blockages that are getting in the way of you feeling as though you have value. The important thing though, no matter who you choose to help you, is that you recognise that your self worth is currently flagging and you need to build it up.
Here’s the thing you see, the absolute truth, no matter who you are, what you’ve done or what you’ve been through:
You are not worth less, or more, than any other human being. There is no scale on which you are being measured. There are no points to be obtained, no first place, no last place, in the human race. You have the same worth as everybody else. But – and here’s the big but – to yourself you should be the most valuable person in the world.
“What about my family though?” I hear you ask? Ah, you misunderstand me. You are imagining that I am saying that you should put yourself first in all situations. Not at all. There will of course be times when you choose to prioritise the needs of the people you love. My point though is this: there is no one else, nobody else on this planet, with whom you will spend every single second of your life, apart from yourself. No one. There is nobody else who is in control of your inner self talk but you. Nobody else who is in control of how you treat your body, and of the choices you make to keep yourself safe and to make your life beautiful.
There is only you. So if you do not place the most value on yourself – as everybody else should place the most value on themselves – where are you left? You are lost. Without foundation. Hustling for your worthiness, as Brene Brown would say.
Some people spend their whole lives trying to find the person or the achievement or the status or the belongings that will make them feel as though they have worth. They keep running down that tunnel towards a mythical prize. The sad thing is, they have no need to run. All any of use need to do is to stop, reach down, pick up our self worth and cloak ourselves in it. It is ours for the taking, whenever we are ready to hold it.
Self worth. Without it, everything is difficult. With it, everything is clear. Find the support that you need in order to find your worth, and remember – you can decide that you are worthy of that at any moment you choose.
Helen Calvert
Coach and Director of Clear Day
May 2021